I am a Virgin

boxed

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

I used to dread this question because it would inevitably lead to my admitting that I never had a boyfriend. This confession would then be followed by the question, “Are you gay/a lesbian?” Huh? No. How does never having been in a relationship equate to being a lesbian? Why would anyone assume that? The first time I was confronted like this I was so shocked. Is society so afraid of being alone/single that it automatically assumes there’s something not quite right about you? (I am neither a homophobe nor do I have anything against gays. Several of my friends are gay and they’re some of the coolest people.) This issue boggled my mind for many years to the point where I started wondering if something was wrong with me. And then, I met many women out there who have never had a boyfriend. Women who have not had their first kiss; women who are even much older than me; smart, beautiful, strong, driven women. I can’t explain the relief I felt. I always thought I was the odd ball, but I’m not! Yay! If you’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend don’t fret. There’s nothing wrong with you. It isn’t because you aren’t lovable, likable, or wanted.

Which brings me to another point. Sex. Yes, I am a virgin and I have friends who are and aren’t as well. I am a virgin by choice and not because I can’t seem to find someone to have a one night stand with. It isn’t because no one wants to have sex with me so, please, please, please don’t take me to a bar and try to hook me up. One of my ex-coworkers attempted to do this and I’ll give him credit for trying. I had a really fun night in Hong Kong, but I did not hook up with anyone and the only action that I got were old men trying to dance with me, someone grabbing my boobs, and some guy with really stinky breath trying to kiss me. But no one will be able to force me to do something I don’t want to do.

Besides, when did being a virgin become something to frown upon? I’m sure there are many people who would disagree with me about having sex and argue that I am missing out. But I don’t feel like I am. I don’t know where this is going, so I’ll end here. I agree sex is a good thing. I just want to wait until after I get married.

P.S. Photo is from a project I did back in high school which was so long ago!

Sunset Beach

shells

You know how no two snowflakes are the same? I think the same goes for sea shells. There are some that look similar, but I’ve never seen a shell that looks exactly like another one. Plus, they’re pretty and you can keep them forever, unlike snowflakes. I used to think that falling snow looked like huge snowflakes, you know, like in the cartoons and movies. The first time I saw actual snow falling was when I was in junior high and at first, I didn’t know what was going on outside until someone told me it was snowing… I was so disappointed! I couldn’t even tell each snowflake was unique and they were tiny! And, it got everywhere! I felt cheated. Doesn’t mean I don’t like playing in the snow, though!

Today, I spent my day at Sunset Beach frolicking in the ocean and picking sea shells. I also ate the fattest and heaviest burrito/wrap of my life! It was so heavy I had to hold it vertically with the bottom of it resting on my plate while I ate it. Don’t you hate it when your burrito ends up ripping open and all the juices, beans, and rice start spilling out leaving a trail from your fingertips to your elbows?! That sums up my lunch. It was one delicious mess. It was filled with butternut squash, avocados, rice, beans, melted cheese, and other things that were all jumbled together. Yummy goodness. I was overcome with hunger that I didn’t even think of taking a photo of it. But enjoy the picture of the shells!

Mellow Monday | Music Monday

Mellow music for a mellow day.

Foreign Fields – “Little Lover”

Lyrics:

Little lover
When you look at me now
Just like your mother does
Oh, I don’t mind the time
Oh, I don’t mind the time

Little lover
Yeah, we’ll all lose ourselves
To one another
But I’m holdin’ on to you

Then you’ll discover
All my soul
All these lights I’ve held to
They lost you

Oh
Now that you know
What I couldn’t show you
Take it away

Oh
Now that you see
What I’ve kept in hiding
Take it away
Take it away
Take it away

Little lover
Will you think of me now
Just like your mother did?

Oh
Now that you know
What I couldn’t show you
Take it away

Oh
Now that you see
What I’ve kept in hiding
Take it away
Take it away
Take it away

I never realized
Rearrange in the back of your eyes
Press me down and hold my face
Hold me slow
What I hear is change
It’ll be okay
You take me away
You take me away
You take me away

The “What if’s” of fear

dying flower

Doubt. This 5 letter word has the capability of rendering people incapable. It makes our fears accumulate into a black cloud we can’t run away from, shrivels up dreams until they’re nothing but withered saplings. It leaves us with nothing but missed opportunities and a whole lot of regret. A boring life. This is not a place anyone wants to be, but sometimes we just can’t help it. Or, can we?

What if we took our fears and flipped them upside down? What if, instead of thinking about the obstacles and all the difficulties we have to face to reach a goal–or whatever it is–we focus on the end result and what has been promised? I believe that every person has been promised certain things by God and He fulfills those promises at His own timing. I know, you might be thinking, “Well, what about the people starving in Africa or girls who are forced into drugs and prostitution?” I don’t have a definite answer to this but sometimes, we make series of bad choices which can lead us to a place we never wished. I struggle with this question, too and I’ve heard various answers but I can never explain it in my own words.  We just need to put our part into it and remember that God never goes back on His word. When things get difficult or seem impossible, let this be an encouragement and keep pushing forward.

Often times, we tend to focus on the very small, trivial part and forget that it’s part of a much bigger picture. I’m trying not to dwell on my circumstances and obstacles, but set my sights on what has been promised to me. It ain’t easy and I’m going to be honest, I’m not absolutely certain what those promises are, but as I journey through my life, one by one, they’ll be revealed to me. I feel extremely lucky to be surrounded by pastors and friends who continually fill me with wise words and encouragements. Even from friends who live in different countries! ♡

So, surround yourself with people who are uplifting and BE uplifting to others! No one wants that negative energy! And if you are currently in a dark place, think about how you can change your what if’s of fear into something positive. It’s easy to sulk in our fears and doubt, but why would you take the easy route when there’s something so much better waiting for you by putting in some effort?

P.S. Do you like the photo of the flower? I was in my backyard and just messing around with my camera. Hehe. Told ya I’d dig out my DSLR from the deep, dark corner of my closet and put it to use. I thought it depicted our what if’s of fear and what it can do to us. Let’s not end up like that. Let’s be vibrant flowers that exude happiness and joy in people and ourselves.

Good Friends

Have you ever seen or heard of the children’s musical Wee Sing in Sillyville? I enjoyed it as a child, but if I were to watch it again now, I most likely would think it’s a little creepy and weird. I can’t remember the first time I saw it on VHS, but some of the songs have stuck with me over the years. I used to have so much fun watching VHS’s being rewinded in our sports car tape rewinder. I was and still am easily amused. For those of you wondering, it used to look similar to this one:

vhs rewinder

One of the songs that has stuck with me ever since is “Make New Friends.” And I am not kidding you, I only just found out it’s actually a nursery rhyme… All these years I’ve always thought it was a unique song to the musical! I was trying to find a YouTube video of the song and realized it’s actually a rhyme… Am I the only one who was not aware of this? If you didn’t know about this either, well, now you do. You’re welcome.

The song below, by Emily King is for all the friends we have in our lives. Life would be so boring without friends. Let them know how much you appreciate them! Share this song with them! You can even download it for FREE! Happy friday to you and enjoy. As for me, I’m going to find something to eat. I am so hungry. xoxo

A day in LA

I don’t know if it’s because I live in the suburbs, a.k.a. middle of nowhere, but I always feel like I need to drive at least 20 minutes to have some kind of fun. Sure, it’s not about where you are, but who you’re with, but most days I’m alone and venturing out alone doesn’t exactly make me all giddy and excited to explore the mundaneness around me. It’s unfortunate. But then I wonder if it would be any different if I did live somewhere like, New York City, Seattle, or even Los Angeles. Wouldn’t it just become normal to me after a while and no longer thrill me? I hope not…

So, to relinquish this craving of exploring a big city and trying to be cool (Ha! What am I saying? I am cool, pft.), some friends and I spent a day out in Los Angeles. The day didn’t go quite as planned, however. We had a really late lunch that prevented us from going to the Getty Villa. So, we decided to visit the Museum of Contemporary Art, but it was closed that day and we didn’t find out until we got there. But! All hope was not lost. We got to go to the Santa Monica Pier* and hang around Little Tokyo. Here are some polaroids we took on the pier. Don’t mind the reflections on the film. My scanner broke ages ago and I never felt the need to buy another one so, I took photos of the polaroids, instead.

Hmm… I really need to whip out my DSLR from the depths of my closet and put it to good use! These films don’t do justice to our day trip to LA!


*On a side note: I adore the Santa Monica Pier. I don’t know why, but I do. And once, when I was bored at home, I had this sudden urge to go on the viking boat ride that’s there. So, I drove over an hour, paid for parking, and walked to the pier only to see that it was closed for the night!!! I was devastated and mentally kicked myself for not thinking to check the hours beforehand. Since then, I have not been able to go on this particular viking boat, but I will one day!